Never Let Him Go
by kitsune akai
Summary: songfic to "Tell Him" by Celine Dion and Barbera Striesand...2+4...fluff, closeness between two friends, please r+r...


Timid eyes peeked through the open doorway and scanned the room. Hope flashed in their violet depths as they rested on the familiar form they had been searching for.  
A soft rustle of fabric against fabric and a hushed song floated across the room. The boy was humming to himself.  
"Um…Quatre?" a tentative voice squeaked from the doorway. Wide, azure eyes glanced at the boy who hid behind the doorframe, and visibly softened. He laughed softly and motioned for the youth to take the seat next to him.   
His violet eyes did another quick scan of the room before the boy gulped and entered, crossing the floor as quickly as possible and seating himself on the plush, red couch in a hurried fashion. Another pleasant laugh penetrated the silence, followed by a faint sigh.  
"How may I help you, Duo?"  
The braided youth sat on the edge of the inviting couch; back straight and tall, eyes on hands that fidgeted with a tattered Kleenex in his lap. Duo opened his mouth, paused as his eyes quivered a bit with fright, and slammed his mouth shut. He squeezed his eyes closed and turned his face away from the blonde boy by his side.  
Tender warmth on his skin surprised him greatly and he turned a shocked gaze down to his lap. Quatre had placed his hands over Duo's and gave them another affectionate squeeze. He smiled at the braided youth and waited patiently for him to speak.  
Duo sighed, slumped forward and scrubbed his palms over his eyes. The Arabian rubbed his back methodically and tried to relax him. Angrily, he pushed his hands away from his ivory face and forced them into tight balls in his lap.  
  
[I'm scared   
So afraid to show I care]   
  
"I'm… I'm, terrified Q-man," he whispered, never taking his eyes off his knuckles which were white as snow. Golden brows arched slightly in confusion, and the Arabian silently urged him to continue.   
"I don't know what'll happen if I let him know how much I care about him - it frightens me," he started up again, even softer than before. "I'm afraid he'll never speak to me again…"  
He chuckled cynically to himself.  
"Not like he really talks to me now…"  
  
[Will he think me weak?  
If I tremble when I speak?]  
  
A loud sniffle brought a ripple of sympathetic pain across Quatre's face. He put his arm around the American and pulled him closer into the caring gesture.  
"If I can't look him in the eye… If I ramble… If I - "   
Duo paused and wiped his nose carelessly on the black material of his long-sleeved shirt.   
"If I start to shake… Would he think I'm weak because I succumbed to my emotions and feelings?"  
Duo turned his questioning gaze on the blonde, who couldn't meet its intensity. He shook his golden head and held onto his hand firmly.  
"I know what his thoughts are about feelings…" Duo trailed off, staring at their interlocking hands.  
  
[Oooh - what if   
There's another he's thinking of  
Maybe he's in love   
I'd feel like a fool]  
  
Round, violet eyes widened in horror and he subconsciously dug his nails deeper into Quatre's soft skin. Crimson danced on the apples of his cheeks, toying with the violet of his eyes, blending sweetly with his pale flesh.  
"What if I'm too late?"  
Quatre propped his head to one side and stared at the boy, bewilderment flashing in his azure eyes. His pale pink lips parted to speak, but the American's shaky baritone interrupted him.  
"What if he loves somebody else? What if I never had a chance at all?" he asked, voice getting shriller as his imagination wandered through countless possibilities. "Oh Gods… I'd feel like such a baka if I poured my heart out to him, only to be rejected…"  
  
[Life can be so cruel   
I don't know what to do]  
  
The softest whimper escaped his peach lips, full of anger, confusion and pain. He leaned forward and placed his cherubic face in his hands, braid snaking around his neck and sliding down to tickle his sock clad toes.  
Quatre rubbed his back again, heart aching for his friend in despair who was in desperate need of a white knight.   
He unbuttoned the cuffs of his aqua shirt, and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. A sun-kissed hand ran through golden tresses and a soft sigh penetrated the muffled groans of misery that bubbled up from his brooding companion.  
  
[I've been there  
With my heart out in my hand]  
  
"I understand what you're going through," he said softly, resting his cheek against the braided boy's shoulder and wrapping his arm around his slender back. "It's hard to put everything on the line with nothing but a hope, a dream, as your starting block."   
Duo slowly turned his face to the blonde. Quatre offered him a genuine smile.  
"To stand there and risk getting your heart trampled and torn to pieces by the one who captured the very thing he destroyed."  
Another whine seeped from a thin line of peach and Duo retreated to his flesh cave to hide once more.  
  
[But what you must understand  
You can't let the chance  
To love him pass you by]  
  
"But…" Quatre said firmly, lifting Duo from his sanctuary and pulling him onto his lap. "It's a risk you have to take. After all - there *is* a possibility that your feelings are shared." The American's ears perked up at that note and he seemed a little more hopeful.   
"It's a big gamble, but if you feel strongly about this -"  
He paused and Duo nodded slowly.  
"- then it's worth the risk."  
  
[Tell him  
Tell him that the sun and moon   
Rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him]  
  
"Then he needs to know," he insisted, gently pressing the tip of his finger against the redhead's nose. A smile parted his lips as the American's violet eyes crossed in an attempt to watch the invading fingertip. Duo shook his head lightly and blushed sheepishly, shying away into the Arabian's shoulder.   
"He needs to know how much you care about him," Quatre continued. Duo faced the blonde and snuggled closer to his warm body.  
"I know, I know," he sighed against the Arabian's neck. "I really need to tell him. He's the world to me."  
"Then *tell* him! Go to him and tell him exactly that!"  
Quatre gave a reassuring squeeze to the boy's shoulder.  
"He deserves to know, don't you think?" he said softly, cradling the redhead and rocking him back and forth.  
An impish grin materialized on his peach lips and Duo rested his head in the crook of Quatre's neck again.  
"Tell me," the blonde breathed. "How does he make you feel?"  
  
[And whisper  
Tender words so soft and sweet  
I'll hold him close to feel his heartbeat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself]  
  
Duo grinned again, got to his feet and faced the blonde. He closed his eyes and held himself for a moment. Quatre brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them, merriment clearly readable on his face.  
"Like," Duo started, a little unsure where to go. "Like I'm out in space, free to float around amongst the stars. Totally weightless."  
He paused and gestured to the ceiling, as if he could see the night sky through the painted plaster.  
"He makes me smile - real ones. Like the kind I give to you…"  
Quatre blushed as Duo squatted before him and gave him a pure smile that twinkled in his violet eyes.  
"The few words he says - they feel like velvet over my skin," he said softly, running his hands over his arms and closing his eyes.  
"They caress my ears and turn my insides to goo. Oh, Gods! And the way he says my name…!? Mmmmmm…"  
Quatre laughed as the American collapsed to the floor in a fit of moans. The blonde lay on the couch on his firm stomach and leaned over the edge to watch the braided boy on the ground below him. Both boys sighed in unison.  
"I just want to hold him and whisper little nothings in his ear," Duo breathed, playing with the buttons of his shirt. "Be able to fall asleep to the sound of his breathing and the feeling of him in my arms…"  
Quatre closed his eyes and made a noise that sounded like an agreement.  
  
[Touch him  
With the gentleness you feel inside]  
  
"So, what should I do?" Duo asked eagerly, putting his hands behind his head and opening one eye to peek at the blonde who fidgeted with the black buttons on the American's shirt.  
"Be gentle. Remember: he might have problems accepting your love. He doesn't work well with emotions," Quatre replied, casually running his fingers over Duo's collarbone. "But I think, if you go to him and let all the feelings that he stirs in you out, then I feel it'll go well."  
Duo's lips thinned and his brows lifted a little, creating a look of hope and doubt. His brain twirled in thought and he reached up and took Quatre's hand prisoner in a firm but caring grasp.  
  
[Your love can't be denied  
The truth will set you free  
You'll have what's meant to be  
All in time you'll see]  
  
Quatre sighed and leaned up on his other elbow.   
"If you tell him the truth - even if he doesn't accept your love - you'll be free from this torment of waiting. You'll be free from the pain that you're going through now."  
The braided boy closed his eyes and nodded slowly. Quatre squeezed Duo's hand and he gazed at the boy.  
"In the end," he said softly, leaning over the edge of the couch a little more. "You'll get what you deserve - someone who truly loves you."  
Heartache washed over the American's face and the blonde released his grip on the boy and ran his free hand down his round cheek.  
"Give it time," he whispered. "You'll see."  
  
[I love him  
Then show him  
Of that much I can be sure  
Hold him close to you]  
  
"I love him Quatre…"  
"Then show him how you feel."  
"I love him with all my heart, I am sure of that much."  
"You already have him wrapped around your heart."  
"I don't know what to do."  
"Go to him."  
"But, what if he rejects me… I don't think I could take that kind of rejection."  
"Tell him your feelings. Then the ball is in his court, and it's back to waiting."  
"Ohhhhh, more waiting? It's the waiting that kills me."  
"I know dear, I know…"  
  
[I don't think I could endure  
If I let him walk away  
When I have so much to say]  
  
Duo groaned again and rolled onto his side, facing the front of the couch. Quatre got up and lay down behind the boy, comforting him by holding him and running his hand through his auburn mane.  
"I don't think I could handle it if he rejects me," Duo sighed to the couch, playing with the fringe on the bottom of its skirt and snuggling closer to the blonde behind him.  
"I have to tell him. I can't just let him go on with his life not knowing. I don't think I could stand letting him go when I have the opportunity to have him in my life."  
Quatre smiled at the sudden burst of strength from the boy and held him tighter. Duo lowered his hands to rest on the Arabian's and gave them a reassuring squeeze.  
  
[Tell him  
Tell him that the sun and moon   
Rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him  
And whisper  
Tender words so soft and sweet  
Hold him close to feel his heartbeat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself]  
  
"But…" Duo asked quietly. "How do I tell him? What do I say?"  
Quatre shifted behind him and rose up on an elbow as the braided boy rolled onto his back.  
"Tell him that his eyes hold the very means of your existence," Quatre answered, using his free hand to brush Duo's bangs out of his violet eyes. "Reach out to him with your heart. Let your love whisper to him. Then you'll be able to fall asleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat."  
Duo smiled warmly at the blonde and hugged him, burying his face in his pale blue shirt.   
"And you'll receive the best gift of all the gifts you'll ever give yourself," he whispered. Duo retreated from the soft material and looked up at Quatre with imploring violet eyes.  
"Love."  
  
[Love is the light that surely glows  
In the hearts of those who know  
It's a steady flame that grows]  
  
"Love exists in the soul, Duo," Quatre continued, tracing a heart on the boy's chest with his finger. "It's a light that burns in the hearts of millions, but only a few find a similar light that changes love into an inextinguishable flame."  
Duo's smile broadened and he intertwined his fingers with Quatre's.  
"He's the one who will fuel this flame inside you. Keep it glowing for him - even if he needs time on his own. You must keep it here, in your heart for him, and when he realizes the truth within him then he will return and your eternal flame will glow bright and pure."  
  
[Feed the fire with all the passion you can show  
Tonight love will assume its place  
This memory time cannot erase  
Your faith will lead love where it has to go]  
  
"You need to muster all the passion in you and let it act as a beacon for his heart," the blonde said quietly, azure eyes moving from their clasped hands to a soft, violet gaze. "Feed the fire in your soul because tonight love will take its proper place and there will be nothing in the world - not even time - that will be able to erase this memory from your hearts and souls."  
"How do you know?" Duo asked meekly, drunk on the warmth and kindness emanating from the golden angel next to him. Quatre smiled and rested against his black clad shoulder.  
"Because your faith is strong enough that nothing could overcome it. Your belief in your love will lead him to you."  
"But," the braided boy interjected. "He thinks feelings are a weakness…"  
"Yes," the blonde answered quietly. "But he'll admire your strength."  
"Strength?"  
"You are strong for standing up and letting those feelings cooped up inside of you out. That takes strength that he cannot even imagine."  
  
[Tell him  
Tell him that the sun and moon   
Rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him  
And whisper  
Tender words so soft and sweet  
Hold him close to feel his heartbeat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself]  
  
Duo turned again, this time onto his other side and into Quatre's waiting embrace. They lay together, in each other's arms, letting the moment wash over them.   
Quatre reached up and played with the boy's rope of auburn silk. He leaned further forward and positioned his lips above his ear.  
"Go to him," he whispered. "He deserves to know and you deserve to be loved."  
Duo tightened his grip on the Arabian, not wanted to leave the warmth of the blonde's heart.   
"I love you, man," Duo whispered back. Quatre smiled and helped the American to his feet. They stood, facing each other, hands still clasped together tightly. Duo flew forward and almost knocked Quatre over with the intensity of his hug.  
"Thank you," he breathed, stepping back so he could gaze into those azure pools. "I really appreciate it." Duo cupped the blonde's face gently and leaned in, placing the tenderest kiss on his pale pink lips.  
They broke apart and the American smiled before he turned to go, pausing at the door to glance back at the Arabian who stood in the same spot, before disappearing out of sight.   
  
[Never let him go]  
  
Crystal tears welled up in eyes the color of the unclouded sky, spilling free and running down sun-kissed cheeks. He plopped down on the couch that welcomed him, and curled into a small ball, grasping a pillow to muffle his cries.   
His heart ached, but he knew he was happy because the one he loved was happy - and that was all he needed. He knew he'd live, there was another who he loved, but the other didn't capture his heart like the first had.   
Slim fingers reached up and pressed lightly against pale pink lips, which spread in a meek smile. A sigh seeped through the pale pink barrio and echoed loudly through the empty room and he closed his eyes, fighting back more tears.  
Extra weight next to his head on the couch caused his eyes to open, and he sat up still gripping the pillow protectively.  
"Are you all right little one?"  
Scared, timid eyes looked up in a sea of the purest green and he knew that this was meant to be, as much as it hurt to let his first love go. The brunette before him was his other half, and he knew it.   
He would always love the bubbly boy, but he had to move on. The past had its place, and the future had yet to be told.  
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."  
The slightest hint of a smile flashed and he stood, putting his hand out for the boy.  
"Come on," he said softly. "I'll get you some tea." Fear and fright melted into their previous warmth, and Quatre took the hand that was offered to him.  
"I'd love that," he replied, rising to his feet and dropping the pillow back to the couch. Trowa smiled again and lead the blonde out of the room.  
Hand in hand.  
  
  
~owari  



End file.
